Overcoming Fear and Embracing Art: Lessons from a Non-Creative

I am not an artist.

Don’t even consider myself a “creative”.

But this past week, I attended (and fully participated in) a portrait painting workshop intensive. As in a class for actual, you know… painters.

It was hosted at The Current: Baha Mar Gallery and Art Center, spanned three days with a 2 ½ hour session per day, led by Ilene Sova - an Associate Professor at the Ontario College of Art and Design University in Toronto, Canada who specializes in teaching contemporary portrait painting.

The workshop was funded by a Seed Research Grant awarded to the university to build on their partnership with the Bahamian artist and sculptor, Antonius Roberts. This relationship allowed us as students to participate and learn for free, materials inclusive. Considering the spaces were incredibly limited, as a non-creative with no background and experience in portrait painting (or art in any medium), signing up for that class felt like I was taking something away from someone more deserving. It felt as though my seat should be going to any young budding artist in The Bahamas who wanted to develop those skills further, not a left-brained project manager who simply attends galleries (and spends way too much time scrolling the feed and not creating anything).

Nevertheless, she persisted (or at the very least, didn’t back out). I went, painted, received critiques, and learned - not me being teachableeee.

Each day of the workshop, built on the previous day and focused on a different aspect of portrait painting. At the end of three days we finished with a final piece that brought those lessons to life and at the beginning of each day we started off with a mini ice breaker amongst ourselves 1 on 1.

Despite entering that space as a complete amateur, with my heart in my big toe - afraid of being found out as a non-creative in a space filled with people who’s skills and creativity I admire- I left feeling fulfilled and with a new outlet that I thought I was too old to pursue.

For months, the creation itch has nagged at me with my fears of being seen trying, quieting my larger desire to create something new. But this course found a way to bring that out. With each lesson, each erased sketch and each brushstroke, my want to learn more increased and the fears of “trying too hard” or even being “exposed” as a fraud were brushed away.

Ilene’s ability to teach novice students while developing experienced painters’ skill simultaneously in one space seriously impressed me. My fellow classmates were incredibly supportive and genuine in their tips for improvement. The space was safe and filled with the voices of natural conversation, laughs about our own errors and focused attention as we tried to get our subject’s noses right, and I felt right at home.

Those three days have become the start of something new and have left me creating my own inspiration in different avenues, minimizing my fears surrounding creating and tapping into my own potential as a person with a need for more. More inspiration, more art, more music and more details; creating a colorful life without worrying about all of the other things that held me back.

So, here’s your sign: register for that class, go to that wine tasting, open up your tripod, practice your tonal value scales even.

Focus on your canvas and let everything else follow.